71/90, guacamole box

I gave myself $15 for groceries this week. I have a large store of carbohydrates in my cupboard, so I only needed some produce. We've talked about this.

Among the other things I got was a box of guacamole. I know. This sounds bizarre, but here's the deal. It comes in two 7-oz. plastic pouches, so that it stays fresh longer than a tub (giant waste of packaging, but I'm resigned to that for now). It was on sale for $2, which was less than it would have cost me to buy the same amount of avocados, jalapenos and lemon (the listed ingredients, along with salt and garlic powder).

So the ingredients are totally legitimate. What's even more legitimate: This is the second best guacamole I've had in my entire life (next to my own, oooobviously). Once I got the stuff squeezed out of its plastic pouch–which takes longer than making your own guacamole, I do believe–I stood in the kitchen eating tortilla chips and dip.

As I stood there, I read the guacamole box. It suggested that there were 13 servings inside. I laughed out loud. Yes, I think I did only eat two tablespoons. On my first chip. After eating about half of the first pouch, I cut myself off.

As I moved to the next side of the box, I noticed a recipe: Quesadillas with Guacamole Recipe

1 1/2 c shredded cheese

4 tortillas

1 c guacamole

Shmear together. Grill. Really? Is this a recipe? Do we need this documented somewhere?

Then I remembered the 3-ingredient cookbook of Joe's, each featuring a different can of Campbell's soup concentrate. I remember going through a phase in high school when I would clip the recipes off of cereal boxes (for variations on Rice Crispy treats) or salad dressings (for variations on salad dressings). When did every processed piece of foodstuff in our kitchen start getting a recipe slapped on the side?

Or a better question, who decides that these are the best recipes to put there? What about the nutritional value of the food? If we have this captive audience–these people on-the-go that need all their food in some kind of box so that it better fits into their Green, Reusable shopping bag, then why not feed them healthy recipes?

I thought about this force-feeding of healthy recipes and then realized I was still eating tortilla chips. Does that make me the pot or the kettle in this situation?

I came back upstairs, worrying that I will never fit into my wedding dress. I looked into Baby's cage and she sat looking up at me, chewing on the walls of her cage then pacing and repeating. I noticed that the three strawberry caps I'd given her were still in the cage. But here's an odd twist of events: She ate the leaves off and left the berry. Now, let's review...

Things Baby Will Eat

1. Bananas
2. Toast (really, just the jelly)
3. BLUEBERRIES
4. Raspberries, but not really
5. Apples (all of it)
6. Yogurt Drops (animal snack–surprisingly tasty)
7. Paper
8. Phone, fan, computer and lamp cords
9. Sheets, blankets
10. Glue, paint and the perfect binding (books, magazine)
11. My hair, after she swats me in the face
12. Her cage

Things Baby Won't Eat

1. Carrots
2. Broccoli
3. Cauliflower
4. Celery
5. Tomato
6. Wooden chew toys
7. Paper that I give her to chew on
8. Anything remotely like foliage (except her hay)

Needless to say, I was surprised she opted for the leaves and not the berries... Sounds familiar.